Brass Rail
The Brass Rail Review 8.5
Everything Done Right
We walked down Yonge St. after leaving the ridiculously close subway exit that extends from underneath The Bay on Bloor. Funny enough, we didn’t really know where we were going since The Brass Rail is so well known in the Toronto area that so many people told us so many different ways how to get there. But soon enough, just a little south of the crossroads of Yonge and Bloor, our eye line was dominated by the Rail’s truly massive marquee and we knew we had arrived.
The Brass Rail is in fact two very different clubs in one. There is The Brass Rail itself which is apparently the place to be on a frosty Saturday night as it was practically standing room only when we arrived. Then there is the Upper Brass, a very relaxed gentleman’s club with leather couches and a very lounge like atmosphere. It caters to that kind of person who wants to unwind and relax with their selection of naked ladies rather then rub elbows with the common folk. Naturally, we were in The Brass Rail rather than the Upper Brass, since we are the kind of guys who crave the party like atmosphere that the Upper Brass, while a fantastic spot to enjoy a relaxing drink, just does not have.
When we walked into The Rail we were greeted by smiling faces, a fully stocked bar and a stage show, what more could you want? The stage itself is nothing much to speak of, nothing grand or even remotely spectacular. Aside from a disco ball, above average lighting, two vertical poles and lit staircase there is nothing remarkable about the stage in any way. Yet it does have one VERY important feature that a lot of clubs are missing. It gives you a completely unobstructed view of the performer from almost anywhere in the club that you choose to sit. This very simple feature makes it a great stage. So many places have over done stages with hoops or smoke machines or crazy laser shows, yet try as hard as you can, you can’t see the girl on stage. Nothing makes a strip club experience worse than trying to squint to see the performer and then end up having to watch sports on television rather than enjoying the stage show. The Brass Rail apparently knows this fact very well and cuts out all the other nonsense and gives you a place that has nothing more than a perfect stage show.
We had just been seated when our pleasant waitress swooped in, took our drink order and crazy enough came back with it within four minutes of us being in the club. I was still wearing my heavy winter coat by the time she came back with my drink and again zoomed off into the packed crowd. I was amazed that in a place so well packed with happy customers that we could get our order filled so damn quickly. The wait staff and the bartenders were gracious, friendly, and not to mention so freaking quick with our orders. You can go to a lot of clubs and wait for service, wait for your drinks to come and then an hour later dying of thirst if you’re lucky you may get to see your server again. Not at The Brass Rail. We couldn’t have been happier with our service and again I can’t help but to point out this one simple fact that seems to really sum up The Brass Rail. It’s not that they do everything your heart wants, it’s that they do everything so damn well you don’t want for anything else.
The Brass Rail seems to be on the small side for a club but it has several other hidden parts to it such as the Upper Brass for example. The Rail’s semi private dance room in the back of the main floor has no fee to get in other than a drink in your hand and the continuation of this drink’s life for the rest of the time you are in there. There is also the executive dance room upstairs where they have set rates that easily compete with the standard twenty dollar a dance fees that the semi private dance room and every other club has. This room naturally costs you a little more to get in and a little more to stay but since it’s half an hour time allotments give you about another two and a half songs why not go for it and get your money’s worth. So when you take all these other things into account, the little club that you see becomes a grand palace of various adult oriented pleasure just ripe for the plundering.
Lastly and certainly not least is the outstanding selection of lovely ladies that the Brass Rail has to offer. We were happily watching the stage show when we noticed that the girls were everywhere. But they weren’t just standing at the bar or huddling in the back in unapproachable packs, they were right in the thick of things making sure that the customers were happy and smiling. They sat down at our table with us and we then knew why the place has such a good reputation for customer satisfaction. The girls are the real heart and soul of The Brass Rail and their mood is like an irresistible force that could turn the worst work day into the best night you’ve had in a long time. So for the rest of the night, the girls would sit with us and chat away making it a fantastic experience in a club that has really earned it’s reputation.
There is an old saying that goes a little something like this, “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, ” and this can be applied to Toronto’s own Brass Rail in the following way. “It’s not what they do, it’s how they do it.” This means that for all the missing bells and whistles, The Rail has done everything so fucking well that they just don’t need to do anything else. If you’re in the area and you want a great night with a cold drink at a club that does everything right look no further, it’s called The Brass Rail.
REVIEW DATE: January 31st, 2009
