The Midway Invader Review 6.5

Its Alive !…. ALIVE!

Apparently in the area of Steeles and Dixie, if you make a few turns any which way, you’ll arrive at a strip club and possibly even one of the four owned by the Cabaret Group. This group owns such clubs as, The Million Dollar Restaurant, Cannonball Cabaret, The New Locomotion and this week’s club in the cross hairs of our review team, The Midway Invader. Despite the fact that it sounds like something you would have found in an arcade in the 80s or a sex act that costs you more than your mortgage, it’s not that bad of a club.

Now the reason we started off this review by telling you all of the other clubs the Cabaret Group owns, is that if you’ve been to the other clubs you’ve been to this one. Like some kind of mish-mashed Frankenstein’s creature, this place is a combination of all the other clubs combined. With the wooden structured layout of the Cannonball, the stage taken right off the The New Locomotion floor, and the ever present strip lighting from the Million Dollar Restaurant, this place looks like someone smashed together three working clubs to attempt to make one ultimate club. They came up a little short. While the place is very popular and there is nothing really wrong with the decor, it seems to be more creepy than anything else and with the left over furniture from The New Locomotion to top it all off, this place could use a real make over.

However, if you want to see it for yourself, we’re going to have to tell you how to get there. Off Dixie, sandwiched between Derry and the 401, you’ll come to a set of lights that says, Mid-way Blvd and after you turn on to it and pass by the Tim Horton & Wendy’s combo, you just have to follow this lonely road to Invader Crescent and turn right. By now you might have noticed how the club got its name and if not just wait a little while and it might come to you. The club has an ample parking lot located in front of the doors and around the back.

This is the part of the review where I explain all the bells and whistles that the club has and attempt to bring forth the pleasure we experienced during our stay. But since this place looks and feels so much like the three other clubs that are BETTER, we spent most of the time just chatting up the girls and trying to figure out which decorations came from which club. There is nothing new nor spectacular about this club and despite the fact it has the great stage from The New Locomotion with it’s mirrored back, horizontal dancer bar, twin poles and the high bar connecting the twins, it’s kind of filthy looking. The club doesn’t have the atmosphere to accommodate such a fantastic structure. Along with this is the fact that apparently cleanliness is not a big issue at Midway since I couldn’t see anything in that mirror accept several layers of grime that really kind of threw me since all the other clubs are so well taken care of. It’s the little things that can really turn you off of a place. Little things like ice on the floor for us to slip on and dirty tables that never seemed to get cleaned or a man who shows you to a table that has absolutely no view of the stage but expects you to be thrilled that he brought you there.

Now, despite my complaints about the club ,it is host to some of the best looking dancers we’ve seen in a while and some of the friendliest waitresses we’ve encountered anywhere. Too bad they were all at other tables with larger parties then to give us the time of day and left us with a woman whose age had hit her expiry date about 15 years ago and a waitress who tended to stare blankly at us when we ordered a Canadian and a scotch. She looked like she was trying to figure out which of the dancers we wanted and eventually came back with a warm beer and a scotch that looked like it had drowned in a bucket of water on the way back from the bartender’s hand.

So if you’re planning a night out and you’re looking for a nice place to go where the girls are jumping and the drinks are cheap, pick one of the other clubs owned by the Cabaret Group, since this one is a bad mix of all three that doesn’t quite make it. The only real similarity between them all is that dances cost you 20 bucks and there is no cover charge. Now it’s nice as a local bar and a place to go if you have a large party of big spenders, but as a guy looking for a drink and a show, you’ll be lucky to get either that doesn’t disappoint.

Review Date: July 25th, 2009

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