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Reviews

Pure Gold

Pure Gold Review 8.2

The Gold Standard

Well we were off for the long weekend and we’re back from the 1st with a bang, not with a lame fireworks display but with a scorching hot full frontal display at Pure Gold. Deep into the uncharted wilderness known as Mississauga, we found ourselves out of our element, but luckily the club and more importantly the ladies, made us feel right at home.

Of course, when you see the odd way that Pure Gold makes their female customers not feel welcome and without the same hospitality towards the testicular of the race, throws you for a loop. What I’m talking about is the very mean and wallet crushing cover charge …. for ladies. Guys will have to pay a pretty steep fee of 5 dollars for every day but Monday, however, women have to shell out 10 dollars from Tuesday to Thursday and a whopping 15 dollars on the weekend. Why this is I couldn’t even guess. As they took our money at the door I quietly enquired about it, but there you have it folks, a cover charge for a club that claims to be recession proofing their club and a mighty big one at that. However, “Is the cover charge worth it?”, is the question that comes up on the heels of looking at your wallet and wondering just where to go to get a beer and a show. Well I am here to say that cover charge or not, this is one of the few places that I would gladly dole out far more than for an experience this good.

Well before you pay that cover to walk in and enjoy the club, you’ve gotta find the place don’t you? Take the QEW WEST to the Winston Churchhill Blvd. exit and go South till you find Royal Windsor Drive and then just keep an eye on your right hand side and you can’t miss it. If, however, the excitement of a night out at the rippers is just plain old too much for you and you happen to drive right past it, you’ll hit Erin Mills Parkway. You’ve gone way too far and will just have to cut back to decaff next time. As for parking, there is plenty of it in the front if you’re lucky and if the place is packed you’ll just have to go around back. There are plenty of other parking options available to you as this is an industrial area and most of the factories are closed after 9 pm so you can just take a little walk from their lots.

Well now that you have parked and paid your cover charge, it’s time to enjoy yourself and Pure Gold is ready and willing to deliver all you could want from a night out. The club itself is very clean and seems far more high end than the area would suggest. The floors are neat and the carpets are vacuumed and our arrival due to the long ass drive was pretty late and they still managed to keep a club this busy, and very, very clean. We got a table which was still covered in the empties of the last group of gents to occupy the table but with how full the club was, we were willing to put up with the temporary inconvenience of the empties. They were soon cleared and the table wiped clean by a smiling waitress who seemed just about as over worked as she was pretty and she took our orders and hurried back with them just as fast as you could want. The drinks at Pure Gold we found to be fantastically well priced with domestic beer going for $6.25 a bottle and everything else priced just under what you would expect it to be. The tables and chairs are far from the bargain basement fare we’ve had to deal with lately and the place reeked of class and classy ladies.

The stage that DOMINATES the Pure Gold club floor is one that I’ll remember for a while to come as it uses the unusually large floor area of the club to make sure everyone gets a little piece of what is being offered on stage. It consists of a main stage with a mirrored background that is pretty clean aside from the occasional butt cheek smear or titty sweat residue left by an over excited dancer and are even cleaned from time to time which is a nice change of pace from clubs that tend to just let that sit for a few weeks. The mirror has a horizontal brass dancer bar in front of it just at that right height to make sure that when the girls use it to stretch out their groins it works the groins of everyone in the room. The girls are also given two small runway stages reaching out from the mirrored back in a large U shape so that the girls can make sure that everyone gets a nice show regardless of where you are sitting. The end of the runways are of course where the vertical brass poles are and I must say that the way one of the girls was thrusting into them they must be set in concrete because I thought for sure that it was gonna cum right out of those moorings.

The girls ,of course, are all shockingly beautiful and are genuinely friendly and give you a good time if you’re holding a wad of bills in your pocket or just happy to see them. Also, Pure Gold is home to that rare breed of dancer who actually tries to put on a little bit of an extra show regardless of her breast size and beauty. So many dancers will simply shake what god or a good plastic surgeon gave them and that’s the end of their act. At Pure Gold, a LONG legged blond bombshell who was not exactly mam-or-able in the chest department spent the last of her 3 songs in a pink cowboy hat and working a riding crop like it owed her money. Another girl worked her legs like some kind of propeller with her sweet spot framed perfectly in the middle getting all the engines in the room running at high gear. Other girls just worked the floors in that way that ONLY a woman can do walking around on legs that made their butts look like jello on springs and god only knows that it can seduce the hearts and wallets of weaker men than Me and even I was tempted.

The dances have been priced to do a recession proofing that the club has posted in little pink and green fliers all over the walls of the men’s room and the VIP section. If you come in during the week from Noon to 2pm and order two drinks you get a free lunch…. of what I don’t know but hey it’s FREE; what else do you want? Along with this is the 2 for 1 dance special that the club has on right now. All girls are free to take into the VIP section and for a 20 dollar bill you get two songs rather than just the obligatory one song that every other club has. Nice deal if you ask me. Along with this there is a glassed off section of the bar that we did not get to see . There is also a small arcade with a couple of coin op video games and a pool table just in case you need to have every single kind of fun you can in a bar/club setting.

In the end, Pure Gold lives up to the name and despite the LONG ass drive and the punch in the wallet that they call a cover charge, we would gladly go again. It’s a great club that knows what it’s doing and does it well, and with the free lunch offer and the other steps they are taking to recession proof, the club odds are pretty good they will be around for many more years to come.

Review Date: July 4th 2009

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